College Insomniac

A blog about a poor college insomniac just trying to get by.

I Hate Chainsaws

Halloween this year was awesome. I haven't had this much fun on Halloween for a long time. Having a date for Halloween makes it that much better. I've been trying to figure out what really scares me during this Halloween season. I went to the haunted mill and nothing there really scared me. Startled, yes, but not scared. Well, maybe the guy with red eyes in the red dot room... bu we'll excuse that for now. Going to the straw maze tonight was terrifying. There's nothing more terrifying than running from a man with a chainsaw and coming to a dead end. It was awesome. It was probably the scariest hour of my life. Another key scary moment was a werewolf thing on stilts that was at least 8.5 feet tall. It was awesome. Being chased by him was also terrifying.

After that, we came back to my place and then we watched The Messengers. Wendy wasn't really a fan of scary movies, but she was a good sport about it and I think she had a good time anyways. I was scared much more by the maze personally. After the movie we just sat and talked for almost an hour. It was fun.

I also bought a new wok today, since I burned my last one. This time, bought a real carbonized steel one. I'm done with that Teflon junk. I researched a lot more about woks before I bough this one. Woks are intended to cook on one setting: high. They should be able to endure high heat. This is why Teflon is an awful material for a wok. It burns, peels and get's destroyed. So, this time I bought the proper wok. This means that I have to season the wok and take care of it. This basically means burning oil into the pan. The oil is absorbed, making the carbon steel wok a natural non-stick surface.

I seasoned it today and I tested it by frying an egg. It worked magically, just like on my mission. I fried in egg in about 30 seconds, and it didn't stick at all. It's amazing. More fried rice, more often. It will be awesome. One of the best parts is that I can now use a metal spatula with the wok. Yay!!!

Everything Is Funny at 4:00 A.M.

Been a long time since I've written anything. I've just been really super busy. My internship at the church was good. I learned a lot, mostly about what I don't know. Anyways, after my internship I moved back to Rexburg to continue my education. This semester has been a rough one. It's already past midterms. I am taking 16 credits, but they are all really difficult classes. I always have a ton of homework to do. Somehow I find ways to relax and just take a break.

In one of my classes, we just turned in an SRS document. It's basically a huge paper that defines the needs of a program that is going to be developed. It's super technical and just ugly. It was an entire class project, but 3 people including myself finalized the document last night during an all nighter. I went to bed 5:30. That one is over now, but I have to do a similar paper called an SDD document that is a design of the SRS. It's just as technical and ugly as the SRS, but with more places to make mistakes. We'll see what happens. I'm just glad the SRS is over.

The only things I have left to do this weekend is finish my take home math test and hopefully go on a date. The second one will be fun though.

Today's Theme Song: Chocolate ~ Snow Patrol

Patriotism

It's been a while since I wrote in here. I went to the Secondhand Serenade concert with Kindy a few weeks ago. It was pretty good. We shot the moon was there, and that was awesome. I didn't know they were going to be there.

Lately, I've been listening to the news at work and just to become more informed. It's been making me angry and frustrated, mostly, but it's good. I'm glad that I'm more aware. Anyways, because of this I've been feeling much more patriotic these last few weeks. Tonight, my roommate and I decided to watch Braveheart. It was awesome. I haven't seen it for a long time and it's an amazing movie. Wish there were someone as passionate and honest as William Wallace in modern politics.

Right after that, We decided to watch The Patriot. Also an awesome movie. I still think every American should be forced to watch this movie at least once. I don't know if I can stomach it, but I almost feel like watching United 93 again too. It's another movie that moves me to have patriotic feelings.

Well, at any rate, I'm going to focus on the movie now.

Today's theme song: The Battle of Stirling ~ James Horner

Concert Extravaganza

It's been a good while since I last wrote in here. I've just been busying partying my nights away that I haven't had a chance to write in here lately. I've been having a good time at work. I'm basically working on just the MP3 project now. I am still technically involved in the the OKAPI project, but I don't really feel like I contribute to that one. It's all about organizing the build and it's just getting pretty complicated and I am tired of doing research just to keep up with everyone. The MP3 project is going really good though. I finally have the program working as a fully functional GUI now. You actually have a window with menus and you choose files with open and save type commands. It's awesome. Now I just have to figure out how to embed pictures into the MP3 files and I have to make a spreadsheet editor view inside the application so I don't have to open Excel to modify MP3 files.

Saturday was really fun. I woke up really early and went paintballing. We went to this speedball field down in Provo. It was fast and not the type of game I'm used to playing in paintball. I got butchered pretty good at the beginning, but near the end I was starting to figure things out and I was actually getting some kills instead of just being fodder. I slid behind a barrier at one point and tore my pants. I wasn't too concerned about it. The pants had shrunk in the wash and looked stupid on me anyways. After we quit playing my knee started to sting. I finally inspected it and realized that not only had my pants torn, but my knee was all torn up too. It was a bloody, dirty mess. I had to wait til I got home to clean it, and I did the best I could scrubbing it painfully in the shower, but by Sunday night it was pretty obvious that my knee was infected with something.

After paintball, I went to the Jack's Mannequin and The Fray concert with Seeca. Jack's Mannequin was awesome, as I expected. I was only upset that they didn't get to play for very long. The Fray was the headliner, so they got most of the playing time. The Fray was okay, but I just think a lot of their songs sound the same... The opening band, Meese, was awesome. I bought their CD and I've been listening to it a lot.

Anyways, I didn't go to work today, Instead, I spent the morning getting my leg looked at by a doctor. That took a while. Then, I drove down to Orem to get my car fixed. So now I'm car-less and my roommate is going to take me to work. I'm not really sure how I'm getting home from work yet... I don't really want to walk... but I can ride the trax til the library for free, so that will take it down to 11 blocks... We'll see what happens. After the garage, I went with Seeca to a friends house and we played games and watched a movie. It was pretty fun. Anyways, I better get to bed. I'm tired.

Today's Theme Song: Captain Hampton And The Midget Pirates ~ The Aquabats

Reunion

Today was pretty fun. I went back up to Rexburg in the morning and visited my friends Amy and Beth. I played soccer with Amy in the morning and after getting something to eat I went over to Beth's place. She was hungry, so then we went to eat again, but I didn't get anything. At the restaurant, I ran into a good friend of mine in high school, Julie Lot. It's been a long time since I've seen her. Her and her husband moved out to Pennsylvania while he's in medical school. They were just back visiting for the fourth of July. It was a total freak accident that we were both in Rexburg at the same time.

After that, I went over to Beth's house and watched a movie, The Lazarus Project. It was really weird, but really good. I really liked it. It seems like forever since I'd seen Beth. Oh yeah, Amy said she'd take Mandy's dress that I found in my closet last night down with her to Arizona so Mandy could get it from her. I want to get my cologne back from her though. I probably spent the same amount of money on the cologne as she did on the dress.

After Beth's, I headed home and just talked a lot with my parents, catching up with them. I watched the events of a soccer game online. I had a nickle riding on Real Salt Lake, and they failed. It came down to a 1-1 draw. I was able to get another dime, so now I have 15 cents, and I put it all down on the Cubs tomorrow. I think they should beat the Brewers. They won the last game against them, 2-1. After dinner we played outburst and watched the three amigos. We didn't start the movie til about midnight and everyone fell asleep during it. I am just writing in here really quick before I go to sleep, But as soon as my head hits that pillow, I'll be out.

Today's Theme Song: Tears Don't Fall ~ Bullet For My Valentine.

Long Nights: Road Trip Race

The last few days have been crazy. After sleeping in until noon the other day, I decided to go into work early and make up some lost time. But since I had slept so late the day before I wasn't tired at all. I decided I was just going to stay up all night rather than try to get some sleep. I needed to reset my internal clock, I guess. It worked pretty good. I fell asleep at work once for about 10 minutes in the morning, but after that I was fine.

After work, I went to the Oquirrh Mountain temple open house. The Oquirrh temple was pretty. It reminded me a lot of the Draper temple. The open house was better than Draper's though. There weren't nearly as many people so I could breathe and it wasn't stiflingly hot, but it was still the same format. Walk around in a huge line with no guide or explanation. I wish they'd have a person in each room or something just to talk about it while you were in there, like Rexburg. That was an awesome open house.

After that, we barely got back to Salt Lake City before Seeca's car died. The battery was all corroded around the connectors, so we walked to smiths and bought some baking soda and a toothbrush. We also acquired a cup of water from Taco Bell and were able to clean the connectors. Someone eventually tried to jump us, but it was no use. The battery was shot. My roommate gave us a ride back to our apartment. I drove my car back to Seeca's so she could get all her stuff out of it... In total, I went 38 hours without sleep. It worked though. I felt good this morning.

Today was weird. I went to work and got a few things done. Not a whole lot since I didn't see my mentor until around 1:00 and he gave me some things to work on. After work, I packed my things and Kindy came to get me. Once she got to my house, I was told that I would be driving. That was fine by me. I prefer to be the driver. I get bored easily if I'm not the one driving. I'm pretty sure it upset Mandy a few times on our trips to Provo. Anyways, Kindy brought two of her friends home for the fourth, so we were pretty crowded in the little saturn. We stopped to eat at subway, and I finally got a free foot long sub for spending so much money.

Kindy told me some news about my mom that I wasn't told since I went to the Oquirrh Mountain temple open house. My mom has super high blood pressure and diabetes. No one told me before hand. She has to avoid physical activity basically all together. It's pretty scary stuff. She's also had some strokes, the doctor said, and that could explains some things. I've been worried about her depression or whatever it was for a while, but I never expected something quite this serious. I'm really going to enjoy the time I get to spend with my family this weekend. They're the most valuable thing I've got. The only people who've stuck with me no matter what, and it'll probably always be that way.

Today's Theme Song: Last Name ~ Dierks Bentley

1:00 - 7:00

Today was... different. I stayed up pretty late last night on this gospel study kick, breaking my red day streak. Anyways, I had a really late, spiritual night. I was up till at least 3:00. I don't know for sure. Then, I had an irritating dream that I finally woke up from. It was dark in my room and I hadn't heard my alarm yet, so I lied there for a while. I fell asleep again and woke up to noise upstairs. I checked my clock and it read 12:09 P.M. It took me a while to realize that it said P.M. and that it couldn't possibly say A.M. I jumped awake and hurried to work as fast as I could. I got there at about 1:00. My mentor had been working on the project we're doing all morning, so I missed a chance to work with him on that all morning.

I was still able to work with him a bit in the afternoon and I'm going in early tomorrow to work with him at 6:00 until 9:00, when he gets busy. I got a lot done after he left too. It's been pretty good. I just felt really bad that I slept til noon. I don't really have hours that I'm required to be there, so it was okay. Just weird. At any rate. I'm going to work from 6:00 to 5:00 tomorrow, and hopefully on Thursday too. Then I can have a little overtime even and get some make up for this holiday weekend. Plus, I'll get more time with my mentor.

I have to find a new apartment for August. Turns out my land lady isn't going to work with me at all for the last month. Seeca asked her land lady if she might have a spot open for just august. She says she'll look into it and get back to her soon. The rent would actually be about 10 dollars less, and the room would be a shared room, but I don't care. I need somewhere. If I can't do that, I'm just going to live out of my suit case at peoples houses for like a week at a time. I could probably live at Dan's and each of the bishopric's houses. I'd rather just have an apartment though.

Today's Theme Song: Let Go ~ Red

The Montony of Repitition

Today was a pretty normal day. I went to work. I didn't get very much done because I'm confused on what we're doing exactly. My mentor is never around to help, so I try to figure things out. I read today instead of going for a walk. I got through 40 pages of my book during that time. It was good.

After work, I played Contra and Chip & Dale Rescue Rangers with Steve. It was pretty fun, but I wish there was something else to do. After that, Brock and I ran to 7-11 for some ice cream, and then we watched Slumdog Millionaire. Anyways, it's late and I'm going to bed.

Today's Theme Song: The Fallen Interlude ~ Blink-182

Indonesia Raya

This weekend was pretty fun. I went to go play laser tag with my cousin Esther and her YSA group. It was really fun. I got 2nd place out of the 20 players that we had. After that we went to Leatherby's Creamery and got some ice cream. It was delicious. Then we went to one of Esther's friend's house and played taboo for hours. Esther and I ended up winning that. Everyone accused us of having all these connections, but we hadn't talked to each other for like 3 years before that day. I got home around 2:30 A.M. and was surprised to find that everything in my room was wet. It was all soaked.

I called my land lady this morning and apparently the next door neighbor thought it would be a brilliant idea to put an extension on their gutter drain that pointed straight to the window in my bedroom. It rained really hard, and the water just flowed straight into my room. It was also the one day that I left my backpack with my work computer on the floor in my bedroom. I always leave it in the living room, but since Esther was waiting for me after work, I just ran down there and changed and left the back pack down there. I hope the computer didn't get wet and has some problem now. Anyways, there is a couple of fans constantly blowing on my carpet for the next few days to try to dry it out.

I went grocery shopping today and bought a lot of food. I got all of it on this special sale price and it was awesome. For instance, I got 5 pounds of beef for like $6.27. It was awesome!

After shopping, I went to another mission reunion dinner thing at David Neilsen's house. It was pretty fun and I met some new Indonesians that aren't members of the church yet, but we get along really good. I'll probably end up doing more stuff with them and it could turn into a really good missionary opportunity. But that's about all I've done for today.

Today's Theme Song: One Down ~ Ben Folds

Movies and Music

Today was pretty fun. I won't write much because it is late and I have a meeting at 8:00 A.M. tomorrow. After work, Joe and Walmart, but with much better movies. It was 5.99 a movie, with a buy 2 get one free, so I got three good movies for like 12.00. I also bought a Ben Folds live concert cd. That's also pretty exciting. After that, we went to Barnes and Noble and I used the gift card kindy got me to buy a the next 2 books in the series I'm reading. I also read quite a bit today. I read the scriptures and I'm going on a full week here with no red days in a bit. I've had some slip ups, but June is overall white. Anyways, that's it for today.

Today's Theme Song: Whiskey For My Men, Beer For My Horses ~ Toby Keith

Laziness

The last few days have been okay. I had my date on Saturday. It didn't really go as I had hoped. We hadn't really spoken a lot to each other before, but as we started talking we both realized pretty quick that we didn't really have much in common. We both like hiking and camping, but other than that, we really didn't do anything similar. There were several awkward silence moments and overall it was a little disappointing. It did help me get over my awkwardness a little though. I need to go on more before I'm "nomral" again.

Other than that, not a whole lot has really happened. Esther invited me to go to a stake activity of hers with her. They're playing laser tag somewhere. I'm probably going to go ahead and do that with her instead of going to my wards activity in Manti that night. I haven't seen my cousin in a long time, and I'd get to know some different people.

Work is going okay. I realized today that I only have 2 more months left of my internship after this week. This week should be better than the last few. My mentor is done doing the dev plan and from what I've heard I'm going to be working with a guy named jax on certain parts of the world server project. It should be a lot more fun than what I've been doing for the last few weeks.

Today's Theme Song: Free and Easy ~ Dierk's Bentley

Ensign Peak

Today was okay. Work was pretty boring. I have nothing to do again, and my mentor is out of town tomorrow for some scout thing. Anyways, I have nothing really planned for the day. I'll have to try to figure something out. Today I worked on some little things as I thought of them, but for the most part I sat around trying to think of something to do. I had lunch with Dale & Becky today. It's been so long since I've talked to them. It took a while to get a conversation going, but it was actually a pretty fun lunch. They gave me all kinds of ideas about things to do here in Salt Lake that are cheap and should be pretty fun.

After work, Joe, Seeca, and I hiked up to the top of Ensign Peak. It was a pretty easy hike, and it didn't take long at all, but the view was really nice. I took several pictures and just enjoyed the time I had up there looking over the valley. It's hard to believe that this little forest looking city was a complete desert once upon a time.

After the hike we got some ice cream at McDonald's and then we came home and played Rock Band for a while. It was fun. I really enjoyed going on that hike. Plus, Dale and Becky have told me about some more hikes that I can take. Apparently Thomas and Henry going hiking quite a bit, so I'll have to call them sometime and go on one with them. It sounds really fun to me. I might have to get some better shoes for hiking in since all i have are flat bottomed shoes and my fake athletic ones. Well... I better get to bed so I can get to work on time for... uhh... something. Oh! I have a meeting with the AV department guys on Monday, so that should pick up again next week. That's the one thing I'm looking forward to right now.

Today's Theme Song: Learn To Fly ~ Foo Fighters

BBQ Birthday

It's been almost a week since I wrote in here last. It's been an interesting week overall. Seeca's been calling me and making sure I have activities to go to. It's been fun, but I need something else. Yesterday I finally called Krista and asked her on a date. It was probably the most awkward phone call I've ever made, but she did accept, so it worked out. I'm way nervous. I just hope we have fun. We're going to go shopping since I need some smaller clothes with the 9 pounds I've lost in the last few weeks. We'll probably get an Orange Julius to drink while we shop, since there isn't a Jamba Juice at the Gateway mall. After that, we're going to come back to my place to meet up with Brock and Kate and play games. I have no idea what games we're going to play, but we'll come up with something.

Today's my actual birthday. Work was okay. I spent all day trying to figure out ruby on rails, but couldn't really do anything. Something is messed up with my installation, so nothing will run. Of course, I spent hours trying other things before I figured this out. Not that it matters. I don't know how to fix it. Oh well. Hopefully I see my mentor for a little bit so he can figure out what's wrong with it.

After work, I came home and cut my hair. It feels so much better when it's short. After that, Joe and I ran to Walmart and bought some hamburgers, buns, and "gourmet" burger seasoning from Walmart. It was delicious. I cooked it for me, Joe, and Steven. Brock had eaten earlier, but he wanted one. I could tell.

Once we were all stuffed we watched Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey. That was fun too. I haven't seen it in forever. I remember hell being much scarier when I was like 7 years old. It was an awesome. Then Joe and I watched Transformers it was cool. After that, we're going to run to Walmart again because I forgot to buy contact solution, and I really need some. I put some new pictures in facebook and changed my profile picture. I hope it shows that I've lost some weight, compared to my San Antonio pictures.

Today's Theme Song: I'd Do Anything ~ Simple Plan

Pandora, 8 hours a day.

Yeah, I get to listen to Pandora internet radio every day for 8 hours, basically. I have found a lot of bands that I didn't know about before that I'm really starting to like. I love Pandora. Work is picking up. The translation project is being put on the back burner for a bit with people going on vacation. This means I actually have some time do work with my mentor on things. We did some code review stuff today and he's showing me different ways to program some stuff that I've been working on for the MP3 project. It was so helpful, and that's just one day. I wish it would happen more often. I get it for about a week with this translation project situation.

Today was pretty boring after work though. None of my roommates were home, and DI was out of roller blades. The only activity I had planned for the day fell apart. I moped around the house, sat in my room blasting Blink 182 and Sum 41 a lot... The anger is good sometimes. Sum 41 especially.

I went to Seeca's friends house tonight and played 4 player battle ship around 10:00. It was fun. I wish I'd thought of something to do before 10:00, but oh well. After that I came home and played Halo 3 with Brock for about a half hour, and now it's off to bed.

I have a new plan to sort of go on a date next weekend since this weekend failed with people going out of town. Basically, I'm going to get Joe to invite Krista over to play card games or something and then I'm going to mention that I need to buy clothes and stuff and see if I can get her to go shopping with me on Saturday. I don't really need any clothes... well... I do need some pants since the ones I'm wearing now are a little too loose now. But it's mainly just an excuse for the two of us to get out and do something and get to know each other better. I don't want it to be all formal like a date, just more hanging out. But I'm going to think of it more as a date. I'm just not going to tell her it is one.

Today's Theme Song: What's My Age Again ~ Blink - 182

Keldar of Mordom

Today was a pretty good day. I was busy at work the whole time. I spent the first hour researching the Lucene IR some more, but after that I went to some meetings with my mentor. They were good for me to hear and catch up a little on the translation project that I'll be working on eventually. I'm still a little lost as to what we'll be doing, but I know we're working on the searching and archiving part of the new translation software.

After the meetings, I was given a little mini project by my mentor to help me learn OSGI and Apache Maven better. I got it all done. It took me a while because I forgot that if you have a project that contains modules, the main pom.xml file has to have it's packaging tag set to pom instead of jar. I struggled with that error for a good while. But, the important part is that I figured it out. He told me it would probably take the rest of the day to do... I had it done in two hours instead of 3. I guess that means that I am working faster than they think I am. Dad was right. I just need to learn to slow down.

After work, I called my friend Kalysta. It was good to talk to her. I found out all my high school aged friends are back working there again. All of us swore not to go back, and I'm the only one who didn't. It's kind of funny, but I'm glad I'm where I am at.

I found some new music listening to Pandora at work today. Good Charlotte came out with a new cd in 2007 that I didn't know about, and it's really good. I want it. After that, I basically came home and played video games for the rest of the day. I didn't really have anything else to do and my roommates all felt about the same as me. It was a rough day at the start, but Beth helped me through it. I'm glad it's over. I'm going to hate Wednesdays for a while.

I never asked you to change,
Not once did I complain.
I loved you for who you were,
Yet I was the one to blame.

Love me for who I am,
Not what you want me to be.
Love me for who I am,
And we can get along.

If I like you and you like me,
Then good friends we both can be.
If I like you and you like me,
Then we can get along.

Today's Theme Song: I Don't Wanna Be In Love ~ Good Charlotte

Enchiladas

Today was a pretty good day. My mentor didn't have any meetings to go to today, so I was able to learn a lot more about the translation project that I'll be working on eventually. Right now, I'm mostly just doing some research on the technologies they want to use. I'm learning how to use an information retrieval library known as lucene. Basically, it's a tool that you can use to build your own searching applications. Since the translation department wants the ability to search previous translations and copy any phrases that are the same, this will be an integral part of the project.

After work I came home and did some laundry. It's nice to actually have washer and dryer in the house. I don't have to save my quarters for no reason anymore. Yay! I also played my free online FPS, combat arms. I got one of my roommates to download it and play it with me. It was pretty fun. I'm sure I can get Brock to play it too.

I found out today that Joe's cousin, Krista, is going to be out of town this Friday, so I can't ask her out on a date yet. I'll just have to wait until next weekend. Brock is supposed to be out of town that weekend, but he wanted to do a double date with me. I want to go on a double date. I think it would be good for me to do one of those first, but at the same time I dont' want to wait another 2 weeks before I go out on a date. I just want to go on one and get rid of some of my nervousness.

I cooked some enchiladas for dinner tonight, and they were delicious. Some people from the ward came by to welcome to Joe to the ward. The girl saw what we were eating and I told her I made it. She seemed impressed. Anyways, word is out that I can cook. My roommates are planning on helping me buy food if I cook for them. It's not a bad arrangement. I won't pay for the food, I'll just cook it and they'll buy it and do the dishes. Sounds good, anyways. We'll see what comes of it. Oh yeah, we watched Wall-E tonight too. Good show. Well, I'm off to bed. Goodnight.

Today's Theme Song: Movin' On ~ Good Charlotte

Twisted Ankle

So I went to visit Kindy yesterday and twisted my ankle pretty good. It didn't hurt too bad at the time, but when I got up to go to church this morning I fell. I looked at my ankle and it was all swollen and pretty painful. I didn't go to church today. I figured walking around from class to class and up and down all the stairs wasn't good for it.I stayed sitting down pretty much the whole day. My roommates and I watched some movies... it was fun.

I did go to ward prayer since it was just next door. The guys next door seem pretty cool. After ward prayer, Seeca invited Brock, Joe, and I to go to her place and watch movies. We watched The Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy. It's a stupid movie, but funny. On our way home I finally asked Joe about his cousin. He doesn't know if she's seeing anyone right now, but he told me he doesn't mind if I take her on a date. At least the easy part of asking someone out is done. I may still get rejected, but oh well. I have to try, right? She seemed pretty cool and I think we'll have fun together. That's about it for today. Pretty boring and uneventful, really.

Today's Theme Song: All Kinds of Time ~ Fountains of Wayne

Russel And Soap

Today was pretty good. I spent all my time at work today with my mentor. I have to admit, it was pretty boring, mostly because I don't know what's going on and I'm trying to absorb all the information, but it's just too much. I fell asleep a lot during the second one.

I ended up leaving an hour early. I was supposed to meet with my roommate and go to the temple, but he didn't get to me in time, so I went home to wake him up or whatever. Turns out, he went to help his brother move. Then Seeca, the girl next door, called and asked if I wanted to go see a movie with her and a friend. We went and saw up. 2nd time for me seeing it. It's a great movie though, I can't complain.

I came home and played call of duty some more. I beat the game tonight. Yay. Not nearly as satisfying as I'd hoped. But it was fun. Just really short. Then again, that game was made to be played online.

Tomorrow I'm going to go visit Kindy and play soccer. It should be fun.

Today's Theme Song: Who I Am Hates Who I've Been ~ Relient K.

Distractions

Today was weird. I ran out of things to do at work at 3:00 P.M. and took off. I really didn't know what to do. I got on the wrong train and almost ended up in Sandy. I got off at the last station in Salt Lake. I rode back to my apartment, to see that Brock's big 40" tv came today. I spent the rest of the afternoon playing Call of Duty 4. I'm more than half way through the single player game now. But, that got old eventually.

I went to the gas station down the street to get some money for the temple tomorrow. I'm probably going to go after work though, instead of before. Work can keep my mind on other things good enough. And there's no reason to wake up earlier to think about things more later.

After that I was restless. I came home and found my newest roommate, Joe. We decided we were going to watch a movie on the new tv and he invited his cousin Christa. She was cool. I didn't really get to talk to her much since we just watched the movie and then she took off, but it was fun.

Well, I better get to bed. Big day tomorrow, heading down to Provo to spend the weekend with my sister.

Today's theme song: Which To Bury, Us Or The Hatchet? ~ Relient K.

Root Beer And Ice Cream

Not a whole lot to talk about today. Work was a little boring. I wish those AV people would get back to me soon. I don't have anything to do unless my mentor gives me something, and he's in meetings most of the day. I sat around today making a huge text file with 1,000,000 phrases in it so that we can work on a searching algorithm for the translation department. The tool he wants to use is called Lucene. It seems pretty cool... but with what I have it doing right now on a file that big, the program crashes due to an overload of memory on the heap. In otherwords, the program is using too much memory. Oh well...

After work, i rode the trax down to temple square and looked around for a while. I feel like the sisters are going to attack me down there, they're everywhere. I did have another Sister Shurtliff siting today. That was kind of cool. Twice in one week. That's pretty crazy. I just went up and saw the Christus and then I went down and into the basement of the visitors center and watched some humanitarian aid videos. It was neat, and made me feel a little better about the day.

After that, it was geek fest at home. Me and two of my roommates played a game of starcraft that took forever. I lost, but it was fun anyways. Wish I was better at that game. It was still entertaining. Brock is supposed to get his tv tomorrow, then I'm really worried about what might happen. A big TV and Call of Duty 4 for X-Box 360 will probably distract me a lot.

After starcraft, brock and I went to Sonic to get a free root beer float. It looked horrible when we got it, but the ice cream was all at the bottom and it tasted delicious. I talked to some of my roommates about me getting a charcoal grill and them pitching in with meat for a while and me cooking some barbecue for us all. Brock and Steven are definitely on board. I don't know about the others, but Joe seemed interested. That's about it for today. I'm going to hit the sack now. One full week of no red after today.

Today's Theme Song: Semua Tentang Kita ~ Peterpan

Waktu terasa semakin berlalu ~ I can feel time continuing to move forward
Tinggalkan cerita tentang kita ~ Leaving behind the story about us
Akan tiada lagi kini tawamu ~ Now there won't be your laughter anymore
Tuk hapuskan semua sepi di hati ~ To erase all the loneliness in my heart

Ada cerita tentang aku dan dia ~ There's a story about me and her
Dan kita bersama saat dulu kala ~ and we were together once upon a time
Ada cerita tentang masa yang indah ~ There's a story about a wonderful time
Saat kita berduka saat kita tertawa ~ When together we mourned and laughed

Teringat di saat kita tertawa bersama ~ I remember a time when we laughed together
Ceritakan semua tentang kita ~ telling everything about us

Ada cerita tentang aku dan dia ~ There's a story about me and her
Dan kita bersama saat dulu kala ~ And we were together once upon a time
Ada cerita tentang masa yang indah ~ There's a story about a wonderful time
Saat kita berduka saat kita tertawa ~ When together we mourned and laughed

Social Awkwardness

The last two days have been okay. I had a rough time yesterday, but today went much better. I stayed at work late, after debating leaving for a time because I didn't seem to have anything to do. Good thing my mentor came back and gave me some research stuff to do. That should keep me busy for one more day at least. I needed to stay late after leaving early yesterday. It was rough, and I couldn't focus, so I figured I should just leave. I wasn't getting anything done anyways. The MP3 project is basically at a stand-still until we hear back from the AV department. I was surprised how quickly I was able to get everything functioning today. But work is going great. I love it.

After work, I came home, cooked some dinner, and watched a little tv. Then I went over to this apartment that has invited me over to to do things the last two nights. There is one girl there who is interested in me, I think, but I'm not interested in her. it's a little weird. She's cool, but not what I'm looking for. I'm not going to go over there for the rest of the week. Instead, I'm going to have to find something else to do. I think I'm going to go to this Asian food market place with my roommate tomorrow and buy stuff to make Indonesian and Indian food. It should be pretty good.

I'm trying to increase my physical activity as much as possible. It helps me deal with things right now. I wish there was a cheap gym that I could get into, but I really can't find one. My roommate gave me a 7 day pass thing at his gym, but I haven't had a chance to use it yet. I might try on thursday for the first time. I need to make sure that I get some bills on me here before Friday. Friday is going to be my temple day.

One more note. I've been wanting to get a charcoal barbecue grill for a long time now for some reason. I think it would just be great to grill hamburgers and stuff. Anyways, I mentioned it to my roommates and a lot of them said they'd be willing to help me buy beef and stuff if I get a grill to cook for them. I think it would be cool, and I could really use some meat. I've been living on celery, carrots and potatoes for dinner since I got here.

Song of the day: Someday You Will Be Loved ~ Death Cab For Cutie
No Red days again!

U-Turns and Revelations

Today was much better than the last few I've experienced. I talked to my mom yesterday and she said something. She said that when you meet the right person, you'll just kind of know there is something there right away. I didn't believe her at the time, but later that I night I was chatting with my brother and sister-in-law about how they met, and it was just like how my mom had said. I slept okay and woke up this morning. Church was good and lifted my spirits quite a bit. I came home and started thinking. I thought that what they were talking about just didn't happen to me. Then I remembered something. My old girlfriend from back in high school, Kerri, had been like that. The first time I talked to her, I liked her and I couldn't stop. When we finally did start dating, it was amazing.

I don't have any regrets in that relationship. I was bitter for a long time when it ended, but with time I've gotten over everything. I've realized something very important about myself though, and Kerri. My first year home from my mission I didn't date a lot, because I was looking for someone like Kerri. I'm not saying I was trying to find her clone or anything, but someone with the same characteristics. I never did find anyone that first year, and I think I lost track of what I was looking for after that.

All the other girls I've dated haven't had that spark at the beginning. I've become friends with them and then developed feelings for them over time. It was never like an instant flame that just kindled when we first met, and none of them have had those same characteristics and qualities that Kerri had. I realized that I've just lost what I'm looking for. Ever since I've had this revelation, I haven't been bothered about this past week again. I wouldn't say I'm completely myself again yet, but there's no more pain, anger, any of that.

Actually, I'm trying to find someone that I could ask on a practice date that would help me get back into the arena of sorts. Brock wants to ask a girl on a date in a few weeks, and wanted me to double with him. At first, I told him I didn't feel ready to date again yet, but I think I can do it now. I'm also going to be a lot more open to letting people set me up with someone they know. I figure I haven't done a very good job of finding someone myself, maybe they'll do better.

It is strange though. I don't think I've ever gotten to this point after a breakup so fast before. I have some good experiences and memories with Mandy, but I've let it all go and I'm moving on. Honestly, I feel like I was basically toyed with for the last 6 months, if not the last year. She had to have had those feelings about Chance the whole time we were dating, yet she continued to let me believe that I was her true love.

Either way, I'm preparing myself to get back into things, and I'm going to come out swinging.
Today's theme song: The Middle ~ Jimmy Eat World

3 Years, 3 Hours, and 1800 Minutes

3 years ago today, I boarded a plane leaving the beloved people of Indonesia behind, to return again to my country. It was a hurricane of mixed emotions: sadness, joy, excitement, fear, and many more. I feel many of the same emotions on this anniversary day.

3 hours of restless sleep last night. I laid awake in bed thinking, reliving the past. Oddly enough, I don't feel tired at all. I like to think I probably got the same amount of sleep the first time I slept in my bed on American soil after my mission too, and for similar reasons. Shock can do funny things to people.

1800 minutes without eating. I didn't eat for 30 hours. This one actually scares me. I wasn't hungry when I ate, I just knew I needed to eat something. It can't be healthy to not eat for more than a day. The food was tasteless, and I felt miserable after eating it. Usually Taco Bell is a treat for me, but today it left me feeling worse than before.

I played soccer with Dan and some others today. I didn't mean to, I felt like crap this morning. I just started walking and my feet took me to the park. I found them playing and joined in. I'd like to say it was fun, but I got tired quickly and wasn't playing all that well. I wasn't feeling it. I didn't want to play soccer in the first place.

After that, I stayed with Dan and Alice for a few hours and shared the recent happenings with them. I just want this to be over. I guess only time can truly cure me of this numbness to life. It's nice to know that even though I haven't been the best at keeping in contact with people, my friends still care about me... they try to help, but nothing helps.

The best thing that happened today is that Susan, my land lady, came over today and was talking about some kind of problem with the AC that I didn't know existed. She told me that I could move into the main house area of the apartment for the same rent as what I was currently paying. This is the first answer to my long prayers. I've been so lonely, and now I live in a place where there are other people walking around, to talk to. I got the basement bedroom that I wanted to get in the first place. It's a little roomier and fits my stuff better.

I also went to go see Up tonight with Brock. It was a good movie. I really liked how the story was told, although it was probably not a good movie for me to see right now. I do have to say it was probably one of my favorite Pixar movies. I would say WALL-E, but I don't know if I can watch that one again. Too many connections.

Well, I'm going to take a cold shower and lie in my bed for however long it takes me to sleep. Church is in the morning. I pray that it will be uplifting. Oh yeah, still no red days.

Today's Theme Song: That's What You Get ~ Paramore.

Sepertinya hatiku dibakar di atas api yg sangat dingin

I think the title of this post would make a great Indonesian song. I'll have to try to write my own lyrics for it someday. Today could have been better. Actually, I don't think it could've been worse. But I'm going to focus on the positive here. I went to the temple this morning. It was really cool. I've never been to the Salt Lake City temple before. The live sessions were neat, although it did take longer. I barely got to work on time. I'm going to buy temple clothes and try to make it a daily thing here in the future. Once I have money...

Work was difficult. I'm having problems with the mp3 program that has been going so smoothly. I'm not sure if it's legitimate problems, or problems caused by my lack of focus. Either way, things aren't looking great for having a reading and writing ID3 tag editor in some kind of functioning state by Monday.

I talked to Bishop Petersen today. The only person I've talked to all day that's been able to comfort me. I'm glad I thought of calling him... of course, who did I have left? I couldn't call my family, I don't have any friends... I'm alone in this Zion. But I'll make through my struggles. I don't know what's going to happen, but I know I've been promised certain blessings, and I'll receive them when the time is right.

I've been making my self some self improvement programs. Things are going pretty good. I've some calendars up and running to track my progress. No red days yet... course, it's only been two days, but I intend to keep those calendars free of red. I also went over to Dan and Alice's tonight, just to be around some people. It felt good for a change. I'm alone at work, at home... I just don't get to be with people very often. And now I feel lonelier than ever.

Theme song for today: Berhenti Berharap ~ Sheila on 7 (30 hari mencari cinta).
Only because Api yg Sangat Dingin hasn't been made yet.

Shattering Glass Arm

It's been a while, but my internship is going good. I can't remember if I wrote about it at all before, but I'm going to write about it here. I'm doing an internship with the church in their ICS (Information and Communications Systems) department. It's been a great experience so far. I'm learning a great deal about the industry and about programming in general.

My first project has to deal with downloadable conference talk mp3s. Somebody has brought it to the attention of the Audio Visual department that their ID3 tags for their mp3 files are inconsistent and sometimes just flat-out wrong. I have to write a program that will process all the mp3 files and write their ID3 tag information to a .csv report file. .csv is like an excel spreadsheet, basically. I got that part done a while ago and was able to run the program on all the files today. It worked like a charm and processed over 9,000 files in less than 3 minutes. I was pretty excited about that. The next part will be to build a tool that can be used to edit massive amounts of mp3 files at once. It's going to be tricky, but I think it will be fun.

I talked on the phone with mandy for a long time today. It was good to have a real conversation with her. We haven't had one for a while. That's really all I'm going to say about that though. Porcupine Tree is my new favorite band for this week.

On a gospel note, it's been an amazing experience to work so close to the temple and to work for the church. In a way, I kind of feel like I'm a missionary again, and it's not just because I have to wear a tie to work every day. It's great knowing that what I'm doing is helping the Lord's kingdom. Even if it seems like a small, rather insignificant aspect. I mean, correctly tagged MP3 files aren't going to be the diffrence in someone's salvation or not, but it does affect the kingdom in it's own way. It's pretty humbling, really. I'm so glad that I'm experiencing this wonderful oppurtunity.

Actually, I really wanted to work at USAA instead of the church. USAA is a great company and their services are also very admirable and I'm sure I'd feel almost just as accomplished there as I do here. But to be honest, ever since I've started this internship, I haven't thought of USAA once. Mandy mentioned it tonight, and it dawned on me that I'd never even thought about it since I started working here. Well, I'm off to read and get to bed. Big day tomorrow. I get to start writing the ID3 tag editing part of the application.

Summer Confusion

Well, the summer is finally here and I'm out of school at last. My grades came out today. I'm pleased with them. I know that I could have done better in a few classes, but if I had worked harder in those classes, my other grades would have suffered. I pulled away with an A- in my tutoring class, for instance, and I could have gotten an A in it. Overall, I'm satisfied. I managed a B+ in my Biology and Discrete Math II classes. I definitely could have done better in the discrete math class. Biology was kind of a lost cause from the beginning. I feel I did well at the end.

The reason I'm confused is I don't know where I'm going to be living or what I'm going to be doing for the remainder of the summer. I have 3 internship possibilities. 1 is for a local company, INSEI. They are a nice company that deals a lot with nuclear waste management software. They are an independent software engineering business and they will produce any kind of application that anyone wants them to do. The Church is another employer that's interested in me. I sent them my resume and other information today, so we'll see what comes of that. The last company I have is USAA. This one is a company based out of San Antonio. It's a HUGE company. They are basically a financial institution for military personnel and their families. The office building I'd be working at is similar in size to the pentagon and the Sears tower. The campus is huge, and the benefits they offer are awesome. I would love to be a part of this company, but we'll see what happens.

Obviously, I prefer to work for USAA. They seem to be the most friendly to their employees and the company that I would have the most future in. I would love to be able to come back and work with something more local like INSEI, but we'll see where life leads me. Mandy is back in Kentucky right now. I might not get to see her for 5 months. It's going to be a long summer in that regard.

That's basically my life right. I'm just nervous wondering where it is that I'll be working for the summer. I'm doing my best to stay objective and calm, but I'm pretty excited and nervous. I hope I get that job in San Antonio. It would be a wonderful experience. Even if I don't get it this year, I'm definitely going to check it out next year. If at first you don't succeed, try try again... right?

Weekend Road Trip

This was an interesting weekend. Mandy wanted to go down to Provo to visit her elders so I followed along. It was fun, but a little disappointing. We were all supposed to meet in Salt Lake City to go ice skating. We arrived early and decided to hang out at temple square for a while. We went to go see the Christus statue in the visitors center. Up there, we ran into a Malaysian sister who spoke Indonesian! It was awesome. I was able to speak with her for a quite a while. Mandy was understanding, although a little upset since she didn't get to see everything she wanted to. I made her go down to the basement before we left, so she took a lot of pictures of stuff down there.
Everyone we were supposed to meet to go ice skating bailed on us, so we went by ourselves. It was really fun. I enjoyed it. I still want to buy a pair of ice skates. I like it so much... I just wish I was better at it.

After ice skating we drove down to see Jacob and Elise. We just talked and ate pizza. I finished up part of my homework and turned it in. That's really all that happened that night. In the morning we just sat around talking again, so i worked on my research paper and got it finished, for the most part. Mandy insisted that I shave, so she and Jacob went out to buy razors for me. After that we went to the draper open house. I got to see Kindy for that. It was awful though. It took so long and I didn't really learn any thing. 2.5 hours later, we had dinner and then headed home. We used my computer to watch Madagascar 2 again. It was fun. Then we ate pizza and I really finished off all my homework.

We left around 11:00 AM this morning. Mandy was upset with me because I apparently spent too much time on my computer. Enough for Jacob to make fun of me for it to her. I don't get it. I did so much so that we could go on this trip and it doesn't get recognized. I worked my butt off last week so I could spend as much time playing as I did. I skipped a class that I probably shouldn't have, and I still didn't do some homework that I should have done because I knew this trip was important to her. I played games for a lot of the ride home. That made her angry too. I couldn't think of anything to talk about. So I played some games and just sang along with the radio. I don't know what she wanted... whatever. Either way, I'm going to have another busy week this week to get caught up. It was fun though.

After she told me about Jacob making fun of me, I was in a bit of a bad mood and didn't say anything the rest of the trip really. I don't know why it bothers me so much when people bug me about being on the computer. Yeah, at home I deserve it, but I'm really not on the computer much more than I must be up here, especially not at Jacob and Elise's. I had to get that work done. Everyone has something they do all the time. Some people watch TV, some read, some play on the computer, others do other things. Everyone has their niche.

I was able to stop and see my family on the way home. Rett was there and I don't get to see him very often, so it was fun. We were there for 4 hours and got a bunch of jerky from my parents. I took my Biology quiz, my last bit of homework, and we came back to Rexburg. After that we just watched 24. It was good. A nice relaxing weekend. One that I'll unfortunately have to pay for however. I'm going to try to write in here more often. We'll see what happens though. At any rate, this is more than enough for tonight. I'll see you later.

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