So I went to visit Kindy yesterday and twisted my ankle pretty good. It didn't hurt too bad at the time, but when I got up to go to church this morning I fell. I looked at my ankle and it was all swollen and pretty painful. I didn't go to church today. I figured walking around from class to class and up and down all the stairs wasn't good for it.I stayed sitting down pretty much the whole day. My roommates and I watched some movies... it was fun.
I did go to ward prayer since it was just next door. The guys next door seem pretty cool. After ward prayer, Seeca invited Brock, Joe, and I to go to her place and watch movies. We watched The Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy. It's a stupid movie, but funny. On our way home I finally asked Joe about his cousin. He doesn't know if she's seeing anyone right now, but he told me he doesn't mind if I take her on a date. At least the easy part of asking someone out is done. I may still get rejected, but oh well. I have to try, right? She seemed pretty cool and I think we'll have fun together. That's about it for today. Pretty boring and uneventful, really.
Today's Theme Song: All Kinds of Time ~ Fountains of Wayne
Twisted Ankle
Russel And Soap
Today was pretty good. I spent all my time at work today with my mentor. I have to admit, it was pretty boring, mostly because I don't know what's going on and I'm trying to absorb all the information, but it's just too much. I fell asleep a lot during the second one.
I ended up leaving an hour early. I was supposed to meet with my roommate and go to the temple, but he didn't get to me in time, so I went home to wake him up or whatever. Turns out, he went to help his brother move. Then Seeca, the girl next door, called and asked if I wanted to go see a movie with her and a friend. We went and saw up. 2nd time for me seeing it. It's a great movie though, I can't complain.
I came home and played call of duty some more. I beat the game tonight. Yay. Not nearly as satisfying as I'd hoped. But it was fun. Just really short. Then again, that game was made to be played online.
Tomorrow I'm going to go visit Kindy and play soccer. It should be fun.
Today's Theme Song: Who I Am Hates Who I've Been ~ Relient K.
Distractions
Today was weird. I ran out of things to do at work at 3:00 P.M. and took off. I really didn't know what to do. I got on the wrong train and almost ended up in Sandy. I got off at the last station in Salt Lake. I rode back to my apartment, to see that Brock's big 40" tv came today. I spent the rest of the afternoon playing Call of Duty 4. I'm more than half way through the single player game now. But, that got old eventually.
I went to the gas station down the street to get some money for the temple tomorrow. I'm probably going to go after work though, instead of before. Work can keep my mind on other things good enough. And there's no reason to wake up earlier to think about things more later.
After that I was restless. I came home and found my newest roommate, Joe. We decided we were going to watch a movie on the new tv and he invited his cousin Christa. She was cool. I didn't really get to talk to her much since we just watched the movie and then she took off, but it was fun.
Well, I better get to bed. Big day tomorrow, heading down to Provo to spend the weekend with my sister.
Today's theme song: Which To Bury, Us Or The Hatchet? ~ Relient K.
Root Beer And Ice Cream
Not a whole lot to talk about today. Work was a little boring. I wish those AV people would get back to me soon. I don't have anything to do unless my mentor gives me something, and he's in meetings most of the day. I sat around today making a huge text file with 1,000,000 phrases in it so that we can work on a searching algorithm for the translation department. The tool he wants to use is called Lucene. It seems pretty cool... but with what I have it doing right now on a file that big, the program crashes due to an overload of memory on the heap. In otherwords, the program is using too much memory. Oh well...
After work, i rode the trax down to temple square and looked around for a while. I feel like the sisters are going to attack me down there, they're everywhere. I did have another Sister Shurtliff siting today. That was kind of cool. Twice in one week. That's pretty crazy. I just went up and saw the Christus and then I went down and into the basement of the visitors center and watched some humanitarian aid videos. It was neat, and made me feel a little better about the day.
After that, it was geek fest at home. Me and two of my roommates played a game of starcraft that took forever. I lost, but it was fun anyways. Wish I was better at that game. It was still entertaining. Brock is supposed to get his tv tomorrow, then I'm really worried about what might happen. A big TV and Call of Duty 4 for X-Box 360 will probably distract me a lot.
After starcraft, brock and I went to Sonic to get a free root beer float. It looked horrible when we got it, but the ice cream was all at the bottom and it tasted delicious. I talked to some of my roommates about me getting a charcoal grill and them pitching in with meat for a while and me cooking some barbecue for us all. Brock and Steven are definitely on board. I don't know about the others, but Joe seemed interested. That's about it for today. I'm going to hit the sack now. One full week of no red after today.
Today's Theme Song: Semua Tentang Kita ~ Peterpan
Waktu terasa semakin berlalu ~ I can feel time continuing to move forward
Tinggalkan cerita tentang kita ~ Leaving behind the story about us
Akan tiada lagi kini tawamu ~ Now there won't be your laughter anymore
Tuk hapuskan semua sepi di hati ~ To erase all the loneliness in my heart
Ada cerita tentang aku dan dia ~ There's a story about me and her
Dan kita bersama saat dulu kala ~ and we were together once upon a time
Ada cerita tentang masa yang indah ~ There's a story about a wonderful time
Saat kita berduka saat kita tertawa ~ When together we mourned and laughed
Teringat di saat kita tertawa bersama ~ I remember a time when we laughed together
Ceritakan semua tentang kita ~ telling everything about us
Ada cerita tentang aku dan dia ~ There's a story about me and her
Dan kita bersama saat dulu kala ~ And we were together once upon a time
Ada cerita tentang masa yang indah ~ There's a story about a wonderful time
Saat kita berduka saat kita tertawa ~ When together we mourned and laughed
Social Awkwardness
The last two days have been okay. I had a rough time yesterday, but today went much better. I stayed at work late, after debating leaving for a time because I didn't seem to have anything to do. Good thing my mentor came back and gave me some research stuff to do. That should keep me busy for one more day at least. I needed to stay late after leaving early yesterday. It was rough, and I couldn't focus, so I figured I should just leave. I wasn't getting anything done anyways. The MP3 project is basically at a stand-still until we hear back from the AV department. I was surprised how quickly I was able to get everything functioning today. But work is going great. I love it.
After work, I came home, cooked some dinner, and watched a little tv. Then I went over to this apartment that has invited me over to to do things the last two nights. There is one girl there who is interested in me, I think, but I'm not interested in her. it's a little weird. She's cool, but not what I'm looking for. I'm not going to go over there for the rest of the week. Instead, I'm going to have to find something else to do. I think I'm going to go to this Asian food market place with my roommate tomorrow and buy stuff to make Indonesian and Indian food. It should be pretty good.
I'm trying to increase my physical activity as much as possible. It helps me deal with things right now. I wish there was a cheap gym that I could get into, but I really can't find one. My roommate gave me a 7 day pass thing at his gym, but I haven't had a chance to use it yet. I might try on thursday for the first time. I need to make sure that I get some bills on me here before Friday. Friday is going to be my temple day.
One more note. I've been wanting to get a charcoal barbecue grill for a long time now for some reason. I think it would just be great to grill hamburgers and stuff. Anyways, I mentioned it to my roommates and a lot of them said they'd be willing to help me buy beef and stuff if I get a grill to cook for them. I think it would be cool, and I could really use some meat. I've been living on celery, carrots and potatoes for dinner since I got here.
Song of the day: Someday You Will Be Loved ~ Death Cab For Cutie
No Red days again!
U-Turns and Revelations
Today was much better than the last few I've experienced. I talked to my mom yesterday and she said something. She said that when you meet the right person, you'll just kind of know there is something there right away. I didn't believe her at the time, but later that I night I was chatting with my brother and sister-in-law about how they met, and it was just like how my mom had said. I slept okay and woke up this morning. Church was good and lifted my spirits quite a bit. I came home and started thinking. I thought that what they were talking about just didn't happen to me. Then I remembered something. My old girlfriend from back in high school, Kerri, had been like that. The first time I talked to her, I liked her and I couldn't stop. When we finally did start dating, it was amazing.
I don't have any regrets in that relationship. I was bitter for a long time when it ended, but with time I've gotten over everything. I've realized something very important about myself though, and Kerri. My first year home from my mission I didn't date a lot, because I was looking for someone like Kerri. I'm not saying I was trying to find her clone or anything, but someone with the same characteristics. I never did find anyone that first year, and I think I lost track of what I was looking for after that.
All the other girls I've dated haven't had that spark at the beginning. I've become friends with them and then developed feelings for them over time. It was never like an instant flame that just kindled when we first met, and none of them have had those same characteristics and qualities that Kerri had. I realized that I've just lost what I'm looking for. Ever since I've had this revelation, I haven't been bothered about this past week again. I wouldn't say I'm completely myself again yet, but there's no more pain, anger, any of that.
Actually, I'm trying to find someone that I could ask on a practice date that would help me get back into the arena of sorts. Brock wants to ask a girl on a date in a few weeks, and wanted me to double with him. At first, I told him I didn't feel ready to date again yet, but I think I can do it now. I'm also going to be a lot more open to letting people set me up with someone they know. I figure I haven't done a very good job of finding someone myself, maybe they'll do better.
It is strange though. I don't think I've ever gotten to this point after a breakup so fast before. I have some good experiences and memories with Mandy, but I've let it all go and I'm moving on. Honestly, I feel like I was basically toyed with for the last 6 months, if not the last year. She had to have had those feelings about Chance the whole time we were dating, yet she continued to let me believe that I was her true love.
Either way, I'm preparing myself to get back into things, and I'm going to come out swinging.
Today's theme song: The Middle ~ Jimmy Eat World
3 Years, 3 Hours, and 1800 Minutes
3 years ago today, I boarded a plane leaving the beloved people of Indonesia behind, to return again to my country. It was a hurricane of mixed emotions: sadness, joy, excitement, fear, and many more. I feel many of the same emotions on this anniversary day.
3 hours of restless sleep last night. I laid awake in bed thinking, reliving the past. Oddly enough, I don't feel tired at all. I like to think I probably got the same amount of sleep the first time I slept in my bed on American soil after my mission too, and for similar reasons. Shock can do funny things to people.
1800 minutes without eating. I didn't eat for 30 hours. This one actually scares me. I wasn't hungry when I ate, I just knew I needed to eat something. It can't be healthy to not eat for more than a day. The food was tasteless, and I felt miserable after eating it. Usually Taco Bell is a treat for me, but today it left me feeling worse than before.
I played soccer with Dan and some others today. I didn't mean to, I felt like crap this morning. I just started walking and my feet took me to the park. I found them playing and joined in. I'd like to say it was fun, but I got tired quickly and wasn't playing all that well. I wasn't feeling it. I didn't want to play soccer in the first place.
After that, I stayed with Dan and Alice for a few hours and shared the recent happenings with them. I just want this to be over. I guess only time can truly cure me of this numbness to life. It's nice to know that even though I haven't been the best at keeping in contact with people, my friends still care about me... they try to help, but nothing helps.
The best thing that happened today is that Susan, my land lady, came over today and was talking about some kind of problem with the AC that I didn't know existed. She told me that I could move into the main house area of the apartment for the same rent as what I was currently paying. This is the first answer to my long prayers. I've been so lonely, and now I live in a place where there are other people walking around, to talk to. I got the basement bedroom that I wanted to get in the first place. It's a little roomier and fits my stuff better.
I also went to go see Up tonight with Brock. It was a good movie. I really liked how the story was told, although it was probably not a good movie for me to see right now. I do have to say it was probably one of my favorite Pixar movies. I would say WALL-E, but I don't know if I can watch that one again. Too many connections.
Well, I'm going to take a cold shower and lie in my bed for however long it takes me to sleep. Church is in the morning. I pray that it will be uplifting. Oh yeah, still no red days.
Today's Theme Song: That's What You Get ~ Paramore.